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Writer's pictureChaXen

Heart 2 Heart



It is true that Leila tends to sleep more hours than Masami per day. It is true that Leila desires at least 10 hours of sleep, while Masami only needs five hours to feel fully functional.


It is also true that Masami likes to take daily "cat naps", and this is sometimes the time that Leila and I have serious talks with each other. The following just happened this past Friday.


Leila: Baby, what is wrong with the world and people today?



Me: Good question, wet panties.


Leila: How do you-- did you just call me wet panties?






Me: Yes I did.


Leila: Why?


Me: You will know after this conversation, hee hee.


Leila: [Backhands me in the stomach] Baby, I am serious!


Me: Alright, ok, alright. What is on your mind, love dove?


Leila: How do you do it?




Me: Explain. How do I do what?


Leila: How do you deal with the outside world? I manage my online business from home all day, and I never leave our house. Except emails and phone calls, I don’t deal with people face to face but you do in your job every day. How do you do this?


Me: I do everything I can to make personal contact brief but as respectful as possible.


Leila: I do the same thing, but through email and on the phone too. Masami says that there is a difference tho, but I don’t see it.


Me: Masami is right, there is a difference.




Leila: Ok, so what is the difference between only emails and phone calls versus perhaps that and in person talk?


Me: Baby, what you mean is talking face to face with other people, I think.


Leila: Yes.


Me: You seem to be doing just fine talking to me face to face right now.


Leila: Well, that is because I know you.




Me: [Smiles] You just answered part of your question.


Leila: I don’t…oh. You mean that the difference is that it is a person I may not know?


Me: Yes. But that isn’t all of an answer to your question.


Leila: I don’t get that. I am 24 years old. I know a lot in only that short amount of time.


Me: Does all of your understanding come from a simple browser research, or does it come from actual interaction with actual people?


Leila: I have interacted with other people! I guess just not as much anymore these days.




Me: Honey; people, things, situations, and my own bowel movements change every single day.


Leila: I understand that but-- oh, you are gross! Your bowel movements?? My goodness, Chazy.


Me: Well, the sounds in my belly before that happens may be different than the day before…


Leila: That is gross, eww.


Me: [Chuckles] Ok. The bigger point is that personal interaction and personal understanding could be more potent than any online research.


Leila: That is where I don’t see how and don’t understand what you and Sami are trying to tell me.




Me: Love button, getting people to do something is easy. Getting that same person to do the same thing is hard.


Leila: Well, everyone is different, so we may not know what to feel or think from day to day.


Me: Exactly. People are not, and were meant not, to be robots. If I am wrong, than why am I not plugging myself in to an electrical outlet every day simply to be alive at all?


Leila: Fair enough, love. But there are so many bad people out there. People today have so much hatred and ugliness in their hearts, I just don’t see how you can deal with it.


Me: It is really about being fair until it is time to not be fair. And it is easier to believe a lie rather than to fight for the truth these days. Guess what most people's default conclusion in this is?


Leila: That isn’t much of a guideline to go by. How do you know when to not be fair? How do you know what is a lie and what is a truth?


Me: Instinct. Whether we are all taught or not, I believe that ultimately all know what is right and what is wrong. Look at this pic.




Leila: That is ridiculous! Do that many morons think that?


Me: I have seen and heard from multiple sources of information that may make this information true. Yes, morons.


Leila: Well then, that is silly.


Me: You know that and I know that. Yet 16 million morons in our country don't.


Baby, like most men, we had a high school sweetheart. I was very close to having her be my wife; it was that serious. Our not making this happen is irrelevant.


Leila: That dumb bitch didn't know what she had!


Me: Now, hang on a second, she was not dumb. It just wasn't meant to be with us is all.


Most importantly here, is that her disgruntled x-boyfriend that she left for me made a point to talk to me about her. He spoke of her faults to me, and then I never saw him again.


It was then that I understood something very profound, and which has guided me along in my own personal relationship life-- I started knowing her when I met her.


My convictions start at that time, and never to be determined by any time prior defined by anyone else.


Leila: [Verge of tears and long and deep reflective pause] Oh baby. This is why you accepted me lying to you about my parents. And also why you never question me about why I lied to you?




Me: [Chin to chest and on verge of tears and deep reflective pause] Yes.


Masami: [From the bedroom] Oh, gag me with a spoon! Apparently, that is a 1980's term.


[Me and Leila laugh together hysterically]


Leila: Stick a fork in it, you--


Me: [Moves in towards Leila, cheek to cheek and a gentle touch of face]


We matter to each other more than and above all and anybody, baby.


I love you, Leila.


Leila: I love you, Chazy! But, baby, you have not answered my question enough yet.




Me: When that necklace you are wearing right now does not seem to apply to anybody or no longer has power with anyone you ever come across or see.


That is my answer, sugar-pants.




Leila: …


Me: [Silence and eyes locked] Is that a wet spot developing in your crotch area?


Leila: [Bashful]: Yes.




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